1. Two boys are talking about the sun and the moon. "Which one of them is more useful?" asked one of them.

兩個男孩在談?wù)撎柡驮铝??！八鼈冎心膫€更有用？”其中一個問道。

"Of course the moon is. The moon is in the sky when it's dark, but the sun is in the sky in the daytime when nobody needs it."

“當(dāng)然是月亮。月亮在天黑時掛在天空，但太陽是在白天誰也不需要它時掛在天空?！?/div>

2. A lady lost her handbag? in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest boy and returned to her.

一位女士圣誕節(jié)購物時丟了錢包。一個誠實的小男孩撿到了錢包，還給了她。

Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm...that's funny. When I lost my purse there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

她看了看錢包，說：“嗯……真有趣。我丟錢包時，里面有一張20元的鈔票?，F(xiàn)在卻有20張一元的鈔票?！?/div>

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

那個男孩馬上回答說：“沒錯，太太。上次我撿到一位女士的錢包，她沒有零錢酬謝?！?/div>

3. Two sisters were looking at a book of religious pictures and came across a painting of the Virgin and the baby Jesus.

姐妹倆在看一本宗教畫冊時，剛好看到一幅圣母瑪利亞和圣嬰耶穌的圖畫。

"See there," said the older sister, "that's Jesus, and that's his mother."

姐姐說：“瞧，這是耶穌，這是他的媽媽。”

"Where's his dad?" the younger girl wanted to know.

“他的爸爸在哪里？”妹妹想知道。

Her sister thought for a moment and explained, "Oh, he's taking the picture."

姐姐想了一會兒，解釋道：“噢，他正在拍照?！?/div>

4. "I'm going to draw a picture of God," a four-year-old girl said to her teacher.

一個4歲的女孩對老師說：“我要畫一幅上帝的畫像?！?/div>

"But nobody knows what God looks like," the teacher said.

老師說：“可誰也不知道上帝長什么模樣?！?/div>

"They will know when I've finished," came the reply.

“等我畫好后，他們就會知道的。“小女孩回答說。

5. Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.

每個星期日，牧師給孩子們講故事時，都會把他們叫到教堂前面。有一次，為了更好地闡述祈禱的含義，他帶來了一部電話。

"You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?' he began. The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening, though."

”你們和別人在電話里交談，看不到電話另一端的人，對嗎？”他開口問道。孩子們點頭稱是?！班?，和上帝交談，就像在電話里交談一樣。他在另一端，但你看不到他。不過，他在聽。”

Just then, a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"

就在這時，一個小男孩尖著嗓子問道：“他的號碼是多少？”

6. Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his mum. "Share them with your sister," she said.

媽媽給了哈里兩只蘋果，一個小的，一個大的?！案妹梅种裕彼f。

"So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started tucking into the large one.

于是，哈里就把小的給了妹妹，自己狼吞虎咽地吃著那只大的。

"Cor!" said his sister . "If mum had given them to me, I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself."

“??！”他的妹妹說，“要是媽媽給我兩只蘋果，我就會把大的給你，小的留給我自己?！?/div>

"Well," said Harry. "that's what you've got, so what are you worrying about?"

“噢，”哈里說?！澳隳玫降牟痪褪切〉穆?，所以你還擔(dān)心什么？”

7. Annie: "Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?"

安妮：“媽媽，你知道我要送給你什么生日禮物嗎？”

Mum: "No, dear, what is it?"

媽媽：“寶貝，不知道，是什么東西？”

Annie: "A nice teapot."

安妮：“一只漂亮的茶壺?！?/div>

Mum: "But I've got a nice teapot."

媽媽；“可我已經(jīng)有一只漂亮的茶壺?！?/div>

Annie: "No, you haven't. I've just dropped it!"

安妮：“不，你沒有。我剛把它掉在地上了！”

8. There was a man who cared more for money than anything else.

有一個人對錢的計較勝過任何其他東西。

One day he sent his son to buy a box of matches, and told the boy he must see that each match in the box was good. Soon the boy came back. The man took out a match and struck it, but it failed to light. He tried several more, but in vain. He got so angry and said, "I told you each match must be good, didn't I ?"

一天，他派兒子去買一盒火柴，并告訴兒子每根火柴都必須是好的。兒子一會兒就回來了。那人掏出火柴，劃了一根，沒有燃著。他又劃了幾根，還是無濟于事。他非常生氣，說道：“我不是告訴你每根火柴都必須是好的嗎？”

"Yes, you did," the boy replied. "I tried out all the matches in the box and each match lit."

“是的，你說過，”男孩說道?！拔野押凶永锼械幕鸩穸荚囘^了，每一根都能劃著?！?/div>


? 英語幽默600篇

題材豐富、淺顯易懂
英漢對照、翻譯中肯
????? 青閏編譯
上海交通大學(xué)出版社

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