Okay, so you have to have sex with one. Either classic mermaid; bottom half fish, top half human, or inverted mermaid, top half fish, bottom half human. Go! I don't know. Is she fat? Yeah, but it's a fish, so it's the good kind of fat. Hot off the presses! I-I don't take flyers. You took one two seconds before you walked in here. That's different. It was for a strip club. Two bucks off wings. How much is your flyer going to save me on wings? Fine. It's a flyer from my play. Oh, Lily, I'd love to, but we're not in college and I'm not trying to sleep with you. So anyway, this mermaid... Hey, Lily's friend asked her to be in this play, and it's gonna be really good. Lily, I love you, but we're too old for this. Asking someone to come see your play is like asking someone for a ride to the airport or to crash on your couch or to help you move. Call a cab, book a room, hire some movers and repeat after me: Friends don't let friends come see their crappy play.