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One of the things I do for a living is count. I count votes.Yeas, nays, neutrals, abstaining. And I'm good at it. But the most important count I do has nothing to do with work. It's the number of days since April 4, 1999. As of this morning, that's 5,185. The bigger that number gets,the more it frightens me, because I know all it takes is one drink to go back to zero. Most people see fear as a weakness. It can be. 398--Sometimes for my job, I have to put fear in other people. I know that's not right. But if I'm honest, like the fourth step asks us to be, I have to be ruthless, because failure is not an option. The same goes for my sobriety. I have to be ruthless with myself. I have to use my...

我工作的一部分就是數(shù)數(shù)，我數(shù)選票，同意票、反對票、中立票、棄權(quán)票，而且我很熟練。
不過對我最重要的數(shù)字跟工作無關(guān)，而是從1999年4月4日至今的天數(shù)。截止今早，一共有5185天。數(shù)字越大，我越感到害怕。因?yàn)槲抑酪槐凭湍茏寯?shù)字清零。很多人認(rèn)為恐懼是弱點(diǎn)，有時(shí)是的，有時(shí)由于工作的關(guān)系，我要讓他人生懼。
我知道那樣不對，但如果按第四步說的那樣，實(shí)話實(shí)說。我必須殘忍，因?yàn)槲也荒苁?。戒酒也是如此，我要對自己殘忍，我得利用恐懼。我必須利用?/p>

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