巷The Lane

柯靈 Ke ling

| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國散文選一》

不高不矮的圍墻擋在兩邊，斑斑駁駁的苔痕，墻上掛著一串串蒼翠欲滴的藤蘿，簡直像古樸的屏風。墻里常是人家的竹園，修竹森森，天籟細細(9)；春來時還常有幾枝嬌艷的桃花杏花，娉娉婷婷，從墻頭殷勤地搖曳紅袖，向行人招手。走過幾家墻門，都是緊緊關(guān)著，不見一個人影，因為那都是人家的后門。偶然躺著一只狗，但是決不會對你狺狺地狂吠。
On either side of the lane stand enclosing walls of medium height, which, moss-covered and hung with clusters of fresh green wisteria, look almost like screens of primitive simplicity. Inside the walls are residents’ gardens with dense groves of tall bamboos as well as soft sounds of nature. In spring, beautiful peach and apricot blossoms atop the walls, like graceful girls waving their red sleeves, will sway hospitably to beckon the pedestrians. You’ll find the doors in the walls close shut without a soul in sight because they are back doors to some households. Occasionally, you may come upon a dog lying there, which, however, never gives a bark at you.

要點：
1，“不高不矮的”即“高低適中的”譯為of medium height，由此童鞋們可以猜猜“高高低低的”怎么說？of different height, 這個就很有意思了
2，”不高不矮的圍墻擋在兩邊，斑斑駁駁的苔痕，墻上掛著一串串蒼翠欲滴的藤蘿，簡直像古樸的屏風?！币饧础跋镒觾蛇吺菄鷫?，墻上布滿苔痕和藤蘿，（墻）像屏風“（為了幫助大家理解，原諒我用這么不詩意的語言來解釋…）譯為On either side of the lane stand enclosing walls of medium height, which, moss-covered and hung with clusters of fresh green wisteria, look almost like screens of primitive simplicity.主語從”巷子“到”圍墻“這種視角推進式的句子并不容易翻譯，需要很強的語法功底~
3，“修竹森森，天籟細細“中的”修“就是高，”森森“即”茂密“，”天籟“即”自然界的聲音“這兩句一并譯為dense groves of tall bamboos as well as soft sounds of nature. 此時譯者沒有拘泥于“疊字”形式上的對譯，而是著眼于大局，采用了“淡化”或“簡化”的處理方法有意把“疊字”的韻味分散或轉(zhuǎn)移到相關(guān)的詞語中去，以追求譯文總體效果，十分得體。下文“娉娉婷婷”也采用了同樣的方法來處理~
4, “春來時還常有幾枝嬌艷的桃花杏花，娉娉婷婷，從墻頭殷勤地搖曳紅袖，向行人招手?！弊g為In spring, beautiful peach and apricot blossoms atop the walls, like graceful girls waving their red sleeves, will sway hospitably to beckon the pedestrians.注意此處譯者對文中的狀語的位置稍作了調(diào)整，使譯文更加流暢~
5，“狺狺”作為一個擬聲詞，在原文中無疑為文章增加了音律上的美感，而在翻譯時我們要從整體結(jié)構(gòu)著眼，決定這個詞是否要譯出，此處為了行文簡潔，所以略去不譯。

綜述：注意本段對于疊字的處理，既要簡潔，又要突出原文的神韻~

小巷的動人處就是它無比的悠閑。無論是誰，只要你到巷里去躑躅一會，你的心情就會如巷尾不波的古井，那是一種和平的靜穆，而不是陰森和肅殺(10)。它鬧中取靜，別有天地，仍是人間。它可能是一條現(xiàn)代的烏衣巷(11)，家家有自己的一本哀樂帳，一部興衰史，可是重門疊戶，諱莫如深，夕陽影里，野花閑草，燕子低飛，尋覓歸家。只是一片澄明如水的氣氛，凈化一切，籠罩一切，使人忘憂。
The charm of the lane lies in its absolute serenity. No matter who you are, if you loiter around in the lane for a while, your mind will become as unruffled as the ancient well at the end of the lane. There you will experience a kind of peaceful calmness rather than gloomy sternness. There reigns peace and quiet in the midst of noisy bustle. It is a world of its own on earth. it may be a modern version of wu yi xiang, a special residential area of nobility in the jin dynasty southeast of today’s nanjing, where each family, secluded behind closed doors, has its own covered-up story of joys and sorrows, and rise and decline. When the sun is setting, swallows will fly low over wild flowers and grass on their way to their nests. The all-pervading and all-purifying atmosphere of water-like placidness makes one forget all cares and worries.

要點：
1，“躑躅“即”慢慢地走“譯為loiter around, loiter之前多次見了，是文學翻譯的?？?br> 2，“陰森和肅殺“譯為gloomy sternness ,這個結(jié)構(gòu)跟之前見到的gentle gracefulness
一樣，為“定語+抽象名詞“~
3，“它鬧中取靜，別有天地，仍是人間“中”鬧中取靜“意即”它在喧鬧的城市中保有一片安靜之地“譯為There reigns peace and quiet in the midst of noisy bustle.；”別有天地，仍是人間“出自李白的一句詩”別有天地非人間“即”另有一番境界，形容風景或藝術(shù)創(chuàng)作的境界引人入勝“譯為a world of its own on earth
4，“烏衣巷“采取釋義法譯為wu yi xiang, a special residential area of nobility in the jin dynasty southeast of today’s nanjing。之前也說過很多次了，這種中國特有的詞匯，一般先音譯，之后加注，加括號，或者在后面加以解釋~
5，“重門疊戶”即“多關(guān)口屏障，易于防守”，而“諱莫如深“指把事情隱瞞得很緊，兩詞都有”隱藏得很深“的意思，因此譯為secluded behind closed doors
6，“夕陽影里，野花閑草，燕子低飛，尋覓歸家“整合為一句即”太陽下山的時候，燕子低飛在花叢草叢中，回到自己的窩“，故譯為When the sun is setting, swallows will fly low over wild flowers and grass on their way to their nests。這類散句比較簡單，不用費勁找邏輯，把意思整合在一起即可~

綜述：除了上述幾點，細細品味譯文對于原文意境美的傳達~

你是否覺得勞生草草，身心兩乏？我勸你工余之暇，常到小巷里走走，那是最好的將息，會使你消除疲勞，緊張的心弦得到調(diào)整。你如果有時情緒煩燥，心情悒郁，我勸你到小巷里負手行吟一陣，你一定會豁然開朗，怡然自得，物我兩忘。
Aren’t you weighed down with cares in this life of hard toil and exhausted physically and mentally? I would like to advise you often to take a walk in the lane in your off-duty hours. That is the best way to take a rest. It will dissipate(驅(qū)散) your fatigue and relieve your nervous tension. When you are fidgety（坐立不安的） or depressed, go to the lane and wander around reciting or composing poems with your hands crossed behind your back. You will then suddenly fall into a bright mood and enjoy inner peace, forgetting both yourself and the external world.

要點：
1，“你是否覺得勞生草草“中的”勞生“意為”辛勞的生活“，譯為a life of hard toil”草草“即”憂慮“，全句譯為Aren’t you weighed down with cares in this life of hard toil(辛苦) …其中to weigh down 意為“使苦惱”~
2,” 負手行吟”譯為wander around reciting or composing poems with your hands crossed behind your back.
3, “豁然開朗“(一下子變得明朗)，”怡然自得“（高興而滿足），”物我兩忘“（指創(chuàng)作時主體與客觀世界渾然為一而兼忘），意思各不相同，但句式并不復雜，分開譯即可~

綜述：依舊注意本部分對于四字短語的處理~

你有愛人嗎？我建議不要帶了她去什么名園勝景，還是利用晨昏時節(jié)，到深巷中散散步。在那里，你們倆可以隨便談談，心貼得更近，在街上那種貪婪的睨視，惡意的斜覷，巷里是沒有的；偶然呀的一聲，墻門口顯現(xiàn)出一個人影，又往往是深居簡出(13)的姑娘，看見你們，會嬌羞地返身回避了。
don’t you have a sweetheart? Let me suggest that, instead of accompanying her on a visit to famous park or scenic spot, you take her with you for a stroll（散步） in the lane at dawn or dusk. Over there, you two can chat freely and with even deeper affection, free from greedy sidelong(睨視) glances or malicious squints such as you often meet with in busy streets. Suddenly, at a creaking sound, there may appear a figure by a door—usually an unsophisticated young girl. She will, at the sight of you, withdraw coyly into the house.

要點：
1，“你們倆可以隨便談談， “= you two can chat freely and with even deeper affection，“心貼得更近”
2，“偶然呀的一聲”這里的“呀”指的是門開時發(fā)出的聲音,譯為creaking,即嘎吱作響的聲音
3，“墻門口顯現(xiàn)出一個人影，又往往是深居簡出(13)的姑娘，看見你們，會嬌羞地返身回避了“譯為there may appear a figure by a door—usually an unsophisticated young girl. She will, at the sight of you, withdraw coyly into the house.譯者先是將“墻門口 “作為主語， 引出新信息“ 一個 人 影 ”， 繼而由“ 人 影 ” 再引發(fā)下面的說明“又往往是深居簡出的姑娘“，譯文中直接采用了同位語來銜接信息 ， 使譯文更為緊湊。
3，“深居簡出”可譯為secluded,但此處用unsophisticated，意為“不諳世事”~ 更加靈活~

綜述：注意第三點，新信息的引出

巷，是人海洶洶中的一道避風塘，給人家?guī)戆踩?；是城市暄囂擾攘中的一帶洞天幽境，勝似皇家的閣道，便于平常百姓徘徊徜徉。
The lane is a safe haven for those struggling in the turbulent sea of humans to enjoy a sense of security. It is a heavenly abode in the midst of confusion. Unlike the erstwhile plank-paved path used exclusively by the imperial family for their vehicles to move on smoothly, the lane is place for the common people to roam about leisurely.

要點：
1，“洞天幽境”中的“洞天”本指上天群仙所住之處，現(xiàn)按“超凡的住所“解，譯為heavenly abode~（聽起來真的好像游戲的場景。。。
2,”閣道“指古代皇家樓閣之間以木架空的通道（額，自己想像一下。。。），又是屬于中國傳統(tǒng)文化的詞，用釋義法~

綜述：本部分主要是兩個具有中國特色的詞匯的翻譯~

之前說過很多愛逐臭爭利，錙銖必較的，請到長街鬧市去；愛輕嘴薄舌的，爭是論非的，請到茶館酒樓去；愛鑼鼓鉦鏜，管弦嗷嘈的，請到歌臺劇院去；愛寧靜淡泊，沉思默想的，深深的小巷在歡迎你。
Those who strive after fame and gain, and haggle over every penny, please go to the downtown area! Those who are sharp-tongued and quarrelsome, please go to the teahouse or restaurant! Those who love deafening gongs and drums as well as noisy wind and string instruments, please go to the opera house or theatre! Those who are given to profound meditation and a quiet life without worldly desires, welcome to the lane!

要點：（一大批四字詞語襲來~）
1，本段中“ 請 到 … … 去 ” 采用相同結(jié)構(gòu)， 達到了語篇的連貫效果。譯文中，張利用了平行結(jié)構(gòu)，也就是用和原文最為相近的結(jié)構(gòu)， 體現(xiàn)語篇的連貫
2,四字短語的積累ing~
逐臭爭利，錙銖必較= strive after fame and gain, and haggle over（斤斤，討價還價）
every penny
輕嘴薄舌的，爭是論非= sharp-tongued and quarrelsome

綜述：注意本段對于原文排比句的翻譯，平行結(jié)構(gòu)的使用不僅體現(xiàn)了散文的結(jié)構(gòu)美，而且還保留了原文的音韻美~

《巷》是柯靈（1909- ）寫于1930年秋的一篇著名散文。作者以沉摯細膩的筆調(diào)敘述江南小城市中的小巷，向往那里悠閑寧靜的情調(diào)，流露出對大都市喧鬧紛爭的生活的厭惡。

聲明：本雙語文章的中文評析系滬江英語原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容，轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處。中文評析僅代表作者個人觀點，僅供參考。如有不妥之處，歡迎指正。