silent treatment

Could you be harming your relationship without realising it? Here are ten habits that could lead to a break-up lest you keep them in check.
有沒(méi)有可能在你沒(méi)有意識(shí)到的情況下，你已經(jīng)在傷害你們的感情？下面是可能導(dǎo)致分手的10大習(xí)慣，來(lái)看看你有么：

1. Giving him the silent treatment
沉默以對(duì)

While it might feel good to freeze him out and let him stew, not speaking to him will only have a detrimental effect on your relationship in the long run. He’ll get frustrated by your lack of communication and you’ll never get your point across if you’re not actually speaking to him. Successful relationships are based good communication, so instead of sulking and giving him the cold shoulder, try talking through your problems and finding the solution together.
冷落他，讓他好好反省反省，這樣做或許能解你心頭之恨，但從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)看，這種做法只會(huì)使關(guān)系陷入僵局。你的緘默的確挫傷他的銳氣，但如果你不說(shuō)出來(lái)，他怎么會(huì)知道你在想什么。成功的感情以良好的溝通為基礎(chǔ)，所以不要把事情悶在心里、冷眼相向，把問(wèn)題擺出來(lái)，共同解決。

nag

2. Nag, nag nagging
嘮叨，各種嘮叨

Yes, he always forgets to take the rubbish and it really gets your goat, but nagging him isn’t going to make things any better. Men tune out the sound of women’s voices when they start to irritate them so it becomes a vicious cycle – you ask him to do something, he zones out, you get frustrated and ask him again and again and infinitum causing a build up of resentment and anger on both sides.
他總是忘記帶走垃圾，這的確很煩人，但是嘮叨不是上策。男人被激怒的時(shí)候，會(huì)對(duì)女人的婆婆媽媽置若罔聞，這樣，惡性循環(huán)就開(kāi)始了——你要求他做什么，他不聽(tīng)，你生氣并反復(fù)說(shuō)，結(jié)果呢，雙方都滿(mǎn)腹怨氣，甚至開(kāi)始仇視對(duì)方。

Instead of demanding he do things in a nagging tone, try a more positive approach. Give him a cuddle, smile, look him in the eye and ask if he’d mind taking the rubbish out later. You’re much more likely to get what you want with a warm approach and he won’t resent you for asking.
用聰明的辦法代替煩人的嘮叨。開(kāi)口前擁抱一下、給個(gè)笑臉或用期待地眼光注視他，然后再問(wèn)他是否可以順便把垃圾帶走。這種以柔克剛的方法更有利于你達(dá)到目的，而他也會(huì)樂(lè)意效勞。

Avoiding conflict

3. Avoiding conflict
回避沖突

Never fighting or failing to bring up issues that are bothering you is a relationship time bomb. When you’re concerned about something it won’t just go away if you ignore it – just like a bump in the carpet it will pop up somewhere else. Remember, it’s normal and healthy for couples to disagree from time to time. As long as you argue constructively and are able to compromise and move ahead, it’s actually good for your relationship.
回避令你鬧心的問(wèn)題，就等于埋下了一枚定時(shí)炸彈。當(dāng)你為某事憂慮時(shí)，不去想它不等于它不存在——就像地毯下的硬物，不是在這兒鼓出來(lái)，就是在那兒鼓出來(lái)。記住，兩人之間偶爾意見(jiàn)不合很正常，而且在某種程度上還有益關(guān)系和睦。只要你持積極態(tài)度去討論問(wèn)題，并能得饒人處且饒人，實(shí)際上，分歧促進(jìn)了關(guān)系和諧。

drama queen

4. Playing the drama queen
小題大做

Losing your temper, crying or storming out every time something doesn’t go your way will soon wear thin with your man. Instead of throwing a strop and flouncing out, sit down and talk through your problems. It takes far less energy than slamming doors and throwing tantrums.
一不順心就火冒三丈、大呼小叫、要么奪門(mén)而出，他不會(huì)忍你太久。坐下來(lái)談?wù)?，看看?wèn)題的癥結(jié)在哪里，不要?jiǎng)硬粍?dòng)就龍顏大怒。摔門(mén)、發(fā)脾氣是體力活兒，還是說(shuō)話來(lái)得輕松。

possessive and clingy

5. Being possessive and clingy
占有欲強(qiáng)，太黏人

During the honeymoon period it’s nice to do everything together, but insisting he spends every waking hour with you and you alone is never a good idea. He’ll start to feel smothered. Everyone – even married couples need some time alone and socializing with friends who aren’t you is also important. Encourage him to go out with his friends or stay home and watch the game solo from time to time. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
蜜月期的兩個(gè)人同出同入人人羨慕，但是如果要求他時(shí)時(shí)刻刻與你形影不離那就不好了。這樣會(huì)讓他產(chǎn)生窒息感。每個(gè)人都需要時(shí)間獨(dú)處（已婚夫妻更是如此），而且需要與外面的朋友交往。適時(shí)地鼓勵(lì)他出去找找朋友，或者把他單獨(dú)留在家看節(jié)目。別忘了，距離產(chǎn)生美。

sarcastic

6. Being sarcastic
說(shuō)話刻薄

While you can pass the odd sarcastic quip off as a joke, there is often a deep seated hostility towards your partner at play behind the persistent use of sarcasm to put your partner down. If you want your relationship to flourish it’s time to look inwards and work out why you’re behaving this way before it’s too late. You might find your partner starts to push you away or avoids spending time with you out of fear and anger – being on the receiving end of sarcasm can be especially wearing.
當(dāng)你把冷嘲熱諷當(dāng)笑話說(shuō)時(shí)，說(shuō)明你內(nèi)心深處對(duì)他充滿(mǎn)敵意，希望通過(guò)不斷的挖苦打擊他。如果你希望關(guān)系融洽，在無(wú)法挽回之前趕快自省，挖出作祟的惡魔。你或許發(fā)現(xiàn)對(duì)方已開(kāi)始回避你，或出于恐懼和惱怒不愿和你在一起——被諷刺挖苦的滋味可不好受??！

drinking

7. Drinking too much
貪杯

A nice relaxing glass of wine after a hard day’s work is one thing, but if one or both of you find yourselves drinking until you’re legless most nights, it’s a clear signal something’s not right between you and that you’re using alcohol to mask the shortcomings of the relationship. Unnecessary flare-ups are inevitable when there’s too much booze involved. Nobody wants to date a drunk so sober up or seek professional help before it’s too late to salvage things.
緊張的工作之余來(lái)一杯輕松一下是一回事，但如果你或你倆差不多夜夜喝得找不著北，那毫不疑問(wèn)，你倆之間出問(wèn)題了，你們?cè)谟镁凭谏w關(guān)系中的裂痕。一旦豪飲成了家常便飯，發(fā)生爭(zhēng)執(zhí)肯定在所難免了。誰(shuí)愿意跟酒鬼在一起，所以別再貪杯，或者向?qū)＜仪笾?，否則你將抱撼終生。

overspending

8. Overspending
消費(fèi)無(wú)節(jié)制

Money can be a bone of contention whether you’re being supported by your partner or are the main breadwinner in the relationship. Exceeding your weekly budget on a regular basis shows a lack of respect for your partner while showing off by flashing your cash when he doesn’t have as much to spend can easily cause resentment. So watch your wallet.
不論夫妻二人中誰(shuí)掙錢(qián)養(yǎng)家，錢(qián)總是爭(zhēng)吵的根源。每周總是超預(yù)算開(kāi)銷(xiāo)，會(huì)讓他覺(jué)得沒(méi)有得到應(yīng)有的尊重，而在他掙不到很多錢(qián)時(shí)你卻大把花錢(qián)擺闊，你可能會(huì)遭到他的嫌惡。所以穿衣吃飯看家當(dāng)。

checking up

9. Checking up on him
監(jiān)視他

Snooping his Facebook or email account, checking his phone for illicit texts and constantly worrying that his female friends are more than just platonic will drive you seriously nuts. You just can’t live your life in a state of constant fear that he’s hooking up with someone else.
擔(dān)心他與女性朋友有越軌行為，不是偷窺他的Facebook、電子郵箱帳號(hào)，就是查看他的電話，檢查是否有不正常信息，無(wú)休止的擔(dān)心會(huì)讓你發(fā)瘋。你不能因擔(dān)心他會(huì)勾搭別人而生活在持續(xù)的恐懼中。

If he’s cheated on you in the past you need to ask yourself if you truly trust him to be faithful or end things. If you’re just insecure talk to him about how you feel and he should be able to reassure you. Snooping is not the way to solve this problem.
如果他有前科，那你就該好好想想，他是否真的忠實(shí)可靠，是否誠(chéng)心悔改。如果你不放心，那就告訴他你的感受，讓他向你保證。監(jiān)視解決不了問(wèn)題。

jealous

10. Trying to make him jealous
讓他忌妒

If you were content in your relationship, flirting with other guys to make your man jealous wouldn’t even cross your mind. So if you find yourself making eyes at the bartender just to make him sit up and notice you, ask yourself why? If it’s because he’s acting non-committal or not paying you enough attention tell him how you feel. Flirting sets a bad precedent – if you can that means he can too. And that’s no use to either of you.
如果你對(duì)感情狀況還滿(mǎn)意，那與男人調(diào)情讓他吃醋就實(shí)在是個(gè)餿主意。如果你和酒吧服務(wù)員在他眼前眉來(lái)眼去，只會(huì)讓他提防你，為什么要這樣做呢？若是因?yàn)樗狈ω?zé)任感或?qū)δ悴粔蜿P(guān)注，直接把想法告訴他。你調(diào)情只能為他起到表率作用——你能，他也能。這對(duì)雙方都不好。