Part I Writing

【標(biāo)準(zhǔn)版】Nothing Succeeds Without a Strong Will

Nothing runs smoothly in our life. To achieve things successfully, a strong will is essential. Life is like a Marathon. Many people can’t get to the terminal. This is not because they are lack of vitality but because their will of success is not strong enough.

To take quitting smoking as an example, some regard it as a piece of cake. They make up their minds to quit it in the morning, but in the evening they feel that the smell of cigarettes is tempting. Their throats are sore, their mouths are thirsty, and their hands are shaking. After the painful mental struggle, they tell themselves that “One cigarette is enough. Just take one, and the next day I will quit it.” By doing this, they surrender to their weak will. In the end, they have quitted smoking “a hundred times”, but in no time they succeed.

Just like quitting smoking, nothing succeeds without a strong will. To be successful in one’s life, a strong will means that you know where you go and you will persist on the road you choose. Undoubtedly success belongs to those who overcome their weak will and who hang in there until the last minute.

【文章點(diǎn)評(píng)】
本文屬于話(huà)題類(lèi)作文，只看題目 “Nothing Succeeds without a strong will”考生會(huì)覺(jué)得比較抽象，難以下手。細(xì)看題目說(shuō)明中給出了提示，要求考生結(jié)合戒煙屢次不成功的幽默引語(yǔ)對(duì)該話(huà)題進(jìn)行分析闡述。

總體來(lái)說(shuō)，這是一篇“中等偏上”的考生作文。本文先點(diǎn)題指出“堅(jiān)強(qiáng)意志”的重要性；第二段從反面舉例闡述——具體描寫(xiě)了意志不堅(jiān)定者的心理活動(dòng)，闡述為什么會(huì)戒煙失敗；最后從戒煙延伸到生活中的其他事情，并復(fù)述堅(jiān)強(qiáng)意志的內(nèi)涵，點(diǎn)題收尾。

總體上來(lái)看，文章思路清晰，采用了生動(dòng)的比喻和形象的心理描寫(xiě)，語(yǔ)言流暢，用語(yǔ)地道。但一些重復(fù)表達(dá)（如第二段和第三段中的weak will）顯得單調(diào)，可用shaky ones, weak-willed persons，the strong-willed等靈活表達(dá)。在備考中，多積累不同表達(dá)，相信會(huì)寫(xiě)出更生動(dòng)的文章。

在論述上，敘述略顯羅嗦。第二段心理描寫(xiě)過(guò)多，雖然流暢生動(dòng)，但卻使這篇考場(chǎng)作文超過(guò)了規(guī)定字?jǐn)?shù)，反而成為失分點(diǎn)，這一點(diǎn)要引以為戒。

【高分版】Nothing Succeeds Without a Strong Will

As we have read from above, quitting-smoking seems easy, but in reality it is rarely achieved. There is something provoking and interesting in this paradox, just because sword does not wear the stone as dripping water does.

The ability to do something over and over again in a short time may imply its easiness, but in a long run, a lifetime maybe, things turn out to be quite the opposite. Also, as is often the case, one may have obtained all the tools and opportunities to achieve something, but in the end they still fail due to the will shortage.

So how could we avoid the dilemma? Here is the prime condition of success: will and perseverance. Concentrate you energy, thought and mind exclusively on the business in which you are engaged, hang on in there and be patient, for, as Emerson put it, no one can cheat you out of your ultimate success but yourself.

【文章點(diǎn)評(píng)】
本次四級(jí)作文探討的話(huà)題是成功與毅力之間的關(guān)系，話(huà)題不算新，一般考生對(duì)此都比較熟悉，所以對(duì)考生來(lái)說(shuō)難度不大。寫(xiě)好這篇作文，需要抓住兩點(diǎn)，一是緊跟題目要求，即對(duì)上述幽默性的話(huà)語(yǔ)做出評(píng)論，二是在評(píng)論的基礎(chǔ)上要亮出自己的觀點(diǎn)。

范文開(kāi)頭第一句即一針見(jiàn)血地對(duì)上述幽默性話(huà)語(yǔ)做出總結(jié)性概括，即戒煙看似簡(jiǎn)單實(shí)則很難，隨后指出該話(huà)語(yǔ)本質(zhì)上是一個(gè)悖論，并且以一個(gè)“水滴石穿”的俗語(yǔ)來(lái)指出困難所在，這句也是本文的一個(gè)亮點(diǎn)，體現(xiàn)作者在西方俗語(yǔ)方面豐富的知識(shí)儲(chǔ)備。

第二段作者則進(jìn)一步深入分析該話(huà)語(yǔ)，指出做某事在短期看來(lái)很容易，長(zhǎng)期來(lái)看，恰恰相反，人們做事的結(jié)果也因此總是失敗，原因則在最后一句點(diǎn)出：缺乏毅力。

第三段作者進(jìn)一步給出了自己的觀點(diǎn)，告訴大家如何避免陷入這種兩難境地：首要條件即需要堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的意志和長(zhǎng)期的堅(jiān)持。最后再以艾默生的一句名言 “沒(méi)人能夠騙你遠(yuǎn)離你最終的成功，除非你自己承認(rèn)失敗”來(lái)總結(jié)全文，切中主題，鏗鏘有力。