Self-help books that espouse clever chat-up lines, psychological mind-games and manipulation of body language actually make it harder to find a soulmate, it was said.

據(jù)稱，自助手冊中建議的妙語連珠、心理游戲以及肢體語言，這些手段的運(yùn)用事實(shí)上反而會(huì)增加覓得意中人的難度。

Instead, singles of both sexes should focus on just being themselves and having fun, according to Dr Petra Boynton, an expert in sex and relationships.

兩性關(guān)系學(xué)專家帕特拉?博因頓博士指出，單身的男性與女性最好還是做回自己，放松心態(tài)。

The social psychologist from University College London, dismissed most of the advice given in dating guides and self-help books as unscientific "bunkum".

這位來自倫敦大學(xué)的社會(huì)心理學(xué)家指出，大部分約會(huì)指南和自助手冊中提出的建議，都是沒有科學(xué)依據(jù)的“廢話”。

Speaking at the British Science Festival in Birmingham, she said: "They talk about 'science has shown' or 'biology says' or 'in evolutionary terms men are programmed to be the aggressors and women are not'. "

她在伯明翰舉辦的英國科學(xué)節(jié)上表示：“他們常說‘科學(xué)證明’、‘生物學(xué)研究表明’或者‘從進(jìn)化的角度而言男性天生就比女性主動(dòng)’?！?/div>

“But they never cite any of the science they're talking about and when you look at the way they apply it, it's just rhetoric. There's no science to actually back up what they're saying. ”

“但是他們從來沒有引用任何所談到的科學(xué)依據(jù)，當(dāng)你想看看他們的研究方法時(shí)，就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)這只不過是一種虛夸的言辭。事實(shí)上沒有科學(xué)能支持他們的論調(diào)。”

This week Dr. Boynton invited 60 members of the public to a speed dating event at Aston University where they discussed the art of match-making.

本周，博因頓博士邀請了60個(gè)人參加在阿斯頓大學(xué)舉行的速配聚會(huì)，在那里他們討論了相親的技巧。

Her advice to nervous daters was to keep things simple, be themselves, and get into practice talking.

對于情緒緊張的相親者，她建議順其自然，展現(xiàn)自己，練習(xí)交談。

"If you're thinking about having to present yourself in a particular way and having to manage a line it comes over as contrived," she said.

“如果你考慮要用特殊的方式展示自己，并采用精心編造的辭令，那會(huì)顯得很不自然?！?/div>

"Certainly what doesn't particularly help is when you've got to do a lot of game-playing, posing or reading body language."

“玩心理游戲、刻意擺出各種姿勢或者試圖分析身體語言，這些顯然不會(huì)有什么特別的幫助?！?/div>

She debunked a number of myths related to the so-called expert "rules" of dating.

她揭穿了不少所謂專家提議的約會(huì)“規(guī)則”中的奧秘。

She said for men clever chat-up lines do not generally work. They appear contrived and can be horribly fluffed.

她認(rèn)為詼諧的閑談?wù)Z句通常并不管用。這些言辭看上去矯揉造作，反而會(huì)壞事。

Also a popular phenomenon known as nagging or offering a "back-handed" compliment which was meant to make a man look confident and self assured, was more likely to cause her to "run for the hills".

此外，有一種流行的趨勢，就是批評抨擊或者諷刺挖苦，能使男性看起來更加自信，但這更有可能把身旁的女性嚇跑。

Not calling him first, or not answering his calls, and generally playing hard to get to keep him "on his toes" is bad advice, Dr. Boynton said. Instead he might just walk away.

博因頓博士指出，女性不主動(dòng)打電話給男性，不接對方電話，或不擇手段讓對方圍著你忙個(gè)不停，這些都不是好主意。他有可能就因此棄你而去了。

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