Money cannot buy happiness but somehow, it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than it is on a bicycle.
金錢不能買到幸福，不過，坐在奔馳車里哭總比坐在自行車后座上哭要來的舒坦些。

Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard's name.
寬恕你的敵人—— 但千萬記住那些混蛋的名字。

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
當他人身處困境時伸出援手，他就會在下次遇到困難時又記起你。

Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
許多人活著，是因為開槍殺他們違法而已。

Alcohol does not solve any problem, but them neither does milk.
酒精并不解決任何實際問題，不過要這么說的話，牛奶不也一樣么。