Ah, the comments section.
啊，談到了網(wǎng)絡(luò)評(píng)論的部分。

It's where the Internet — in all its terrible glory — weighs in on the hottest issues of the day. And after you read a particularly incendiary article, you too may be tempted to weigh in.
正是網(wǎng)絡(luò)世界，因其各種可怕的榮耀總在衡量和批判當(dāng)下最火熱的話題。并且當(dāng)你閱讀了一篇特別爆炸性的文章時(shí)，你太想?yún)⑴c到討論當(dāng)中了。

Not so fast, champ.
先別急，你只是草草地看了一遍而已。

Before you leave your magnum opus in that comment field, take a deep breath and ask yourself these questions. With a little introspection, you may be able to avoid an ugly feud or a lot of embarrassment.
在你準(zhǔn)備在評(píng)論區(qū)發(fā)表個(gè)人偉論前，先深呼吸，問問自己以下這些問題。帶著自我反省的目的，也許你就能避免了一場(chǎng)難堪的紛爭(zhēng)或者滿屏的尷尬了。

1. Does this comment represent me well?
1. 我所發(fā)表的評(píng)論能代表我本人嗎？

Your comments show the Internet what kind of person you are. Make sure it’s a good one, not a terrible garbage one.
在網(wǎng)絡(luò)上，你的評(píng)論顯示了你本人的特點(diǎn)。你得確保這是合適的，而不是不堪入目的言論。

2. Would I want my #1 role model to read this comment?
2. 為什么我希望愛豆看到自己的評(píng)論？

Whether your role model of choice is your mother, your college Biology professor or Home Improvement star Tim Allen, make sure your Internet comment is something your idol would be proud to read.
無論你所的崇拜對(duì)象是你的母親，你的大學(xué)生物教授還是家居改善計(jì)劃的專家Tim Allen，你也得確保自己的網(wǎng)絡(luò)評(píng)論讓偶像有閱讀的價(jià)值。

3. Am I reading a satirical article?
3.文章是否帶有挖苦諷刺的意味？

Does the article seem too crazy to be true? That could be because, uh … it’s not.
文章看起來會(huì)不會(huì)離譜得很，從而讓你懷疑它的真實(shí)性？這可能是因?yàn)椤@確實(shí)不是真的。

4. Is my comment offensive?
4.我的評(píng)論會(huì)不會(huì)侵犯到別人？

If your comment contains slurs or relies on stereotypes, reconsider posting. Some jokes aren’t worth hurting others or perpetuating harmful structures -- no matter how hilarious you think they are.
如果你的言論模棱兩可，或者只是基于先入為主而發(fā)表的，那就重新考慮你的措辭吧。某些玩笑話不值得用于傷害他人或使有害的信息繼續(xù)傳播下去，無論你認(rèn)為它們多么值得大笑。

5. Should I telephone a loved one -- perhaps my son -- or write this Internet comment?
5. 我該給我愛的人（比如我的兒子）打電話嗎？或者把這則評(píng)論發(fā)布到網(wǎng)絡(luò)上？

When was the last time you talked to your son? He misses you. You know who doesn’t miss you? The comments section of “Best Power Ballads of October 1996.”
上一次跟兒子聊天是什么時(shí)候了？他很想念你。那么根本不想念你的人是誰？就是“Best Power Ballads of October 1996”的評(píng)論區(qū)！

6. Did a loved one -- perhaps my son -- write this article?
6. 這篇文章是我所愛的人（也許是我的兒子）寫的嗎？

It doesn’t matter how much you disagree with the article’s content -- if your own estranged child (pictured above) wrote it, you should address your qualms in person. It’s been 20 long years, after all.
這與你多么不喜歡文章的內(nèi)容無關(guān)，如果你的關(guān)系疏遠(yuǎn)的兒子（就像上圖的那位）寫的這篇文章，你就應(yīng)該親自跟他表達(dá)你的擔(dān)憂。畢竟已經(jīng)過去20年了，對(duì)吧？

7. Has someone already expressed my opinion using similar words?
7. 有沒有人早已發(fā)布了跟我一樣的言論？

If another user has already made your comment, you should be excited. It means you don’t have to write anything. Just upvote and nod, pal.
如果有別的用戶已經(jīng)發(fā)表了跟你同樣的觀點(diǎn)，你會(huì)很激動(dòng)。這意味著你就不需要再寫任何評(píng)論了。只需要點(diǎn)贊和點(diǎn)頭就可以了，兄弟。

8. Will I act chill if people disagree with me?
8. 如果其他人不同意我的觀點(diǎn)，我能不能保持冷靜？

You know the old popular saying: If you can’t take the Internet, get out of that Internet.
你知道，有句老話這么說的：忍受不了網(wǎng)絡(luò)，就滾出網(wǎng)絡(luò)。

9. Am I hungry?
9. 我餓了嗎？

Come on, you know you get angry when you’re hungry. When did you eat breakfast? Should you really be online right now?
親，你就知道的，餓的時(shí)候就容易生氣。你什么時(shí)候吃的早餐？現(xiàn)在真的還該呆在網(wǎng)上嗎？

10. What should I have for lunch?
10. 午餐該吃啥？

Eggplant parm sounds good. I know you had it yesterday, but it’s best to stick with something reliable. You can expand your horizons another day.
茄子干酪三明治似乎是個(gè)不錯(cuò)的選擇。我知道你昨天已經(jīng)吃過了，但是對(duì)某些可靠的東西保持專一還是很不錯(cuò)的。因?yàn)榻裉炷憔湍芡卣棺约旱囊曇傲恕?/div>

11. Is it bad that I eat eggplant parm every day?
11.每天都吃茄子干酪三明治會(huì)不會(huì)不是一個(gè)好的決定？

Of course not! Everyone has their “thing,” and yours is eggplant parmesan.
肯定不會(huì)??！每個(gè)人都有自己的“癖好”，而你的就是茄子干酪三明治了。

12. Did I actually read the article?
12. 認(rèn)真閱讀這篇文章了嗎？

Did you forget to read the article again? Oh, you!
你是否已經(jīng)忘了重新閱讀這篇文章了？嘖嘖，你呀！

聲明：本雙語文章的中文翻譯系滬江英語原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容，轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處。中文翻譯僅代表譯者個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)，僅供參考。如有不妥之處，歡迎指正。