Some recent research about employees who deal with abusive bosses shows that a well-intentioned study of workplace behavior can produce findings that confound the researchers’ predictions. This research found one unsurprising result; but another part of the findings - which puzzled the researchers — is what caught my eye.
最近關(guān)于員工如何應(yīng)對老板虐待的一些研究表明，出于善意去研究職場行為，可以產(chǎn)生出不同于研究人員預(yù)測的結(jié)果。這項研究發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個令人驚訝的結(jié)果，但研究結(jié)果的另一部分，也就是使研究人員感到困惑的那一部分卻引起了我的注意。
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To explain, the research surveyed the ways in which employees behave when working for abusive bosses. Those are often people who are narcissistic, denigrating, arrogant and unsupportive — or outright undermining — of employee’s learning and development.
為了得到解釋，研究調(diào)查了員工在受到老板虐待時的行為表現(xiàn)。那些老板常常很自戀，詆毀員工，還很傲慢。他們從不支持，甚至?xí)苯悠茐膯T工的學(xué)習(xí)和發(fā)展。
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The unsurprising part of the findings was that just trying to avoid the abusive boss or plotting ways to retaliate didn’t work. That made things worse for the employee, according to the study, published in the Journal of Applied Psychology and summarized by Jena McGregor in the Washington Post.
意料之中的一個調(diào)查結(jié)果是，僅僅想躲開老板的虐待或者密謀報復(fù)都是行不通的。根據(jù)《應(yīng)用心理學(xué)雜志》發(fā)表的研究報告以及Jena McGregor在《華盛頓郵報》中的總結(jié)，對員工來說，這些行為只會使情況更糟糕。
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Rather, it’s the other set of findings is what got my attention. Here, the researchers predicted that “acts of compassion and empathy — employees who assist bad bosses by going above and beyond, helping bosses with heavy workloads even when they’re not asked” would lead to diminished abuse by those bosses. And, that “acts of kindness might help lessen future rude or abusive behavior.”
相反，另一組發(fā)現(xiàn)則引起了我的注意。在這個研究里，研究人員預(yù)測，憐憫和共情的行為——也就是員工即使不被老板要求，也會幫助壞老板，完成繁重工作量——會幫助他們少受些老板的濫待。而且，仁慈的行為也有助于減少未來的所受的粗魯和虐待行為。
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The researchers were surprised to discover that it didn't happen. Instead, according to the study’s co-author Charlice Hurst,"Abusive supervisors didn’t respond to followers being positive and compassionate, and doing things to be supportive and helpful.” The researchers concluded that their findings seemed to “clash with common sense."
研究人員驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)，這并沒有發(fā)生。相反，根據(jù)研究的合作者Charlice Hurst的說法，“虐待員工的主管并不會給予下屬積極的回應(yīng)和同情心，以及一些支持和幫助”。研究人員得出結(jié)論，他們的發(fā)現(xiàn)似乎“與常理相沖突?！?/div>
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Really? I think most anyone who’s ever worked for abusive bosses would laugh at such “common sense” assumptions. No, trying to be “nice” or empathic towards the narcissistic, arrogant boss who often makes conflicting demands on employees isn’t going to produce positive change.
這是真的嗎？我認為大多數(shù)工作上曾經(jīng)受到老板虐待的人都會笑這樣的“常識”假設(shè)。不是，自戀又自大的老板常常向員工提出互相矛盾的請求，所以對這樣的老板表示友好和同情并不會獲得積極的改變。
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What Helps?
什么才有用呢？
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However, a hint at what can help comes from another study. It found that employees who find ways to disengage, emotionally, from abusive bosses, experience a greater sense of managing their dilemma and its emotional impact.
然而，什么才會有幫助這一線索來自于另一項研究。結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)，員工若是想方設(shè)法在情緒上擺脫老板的虐待，會體會到強烈的困境掌控感和情緒的感染力。
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That’s consistent with what I’ve found in my work with men and women who deal with these situations. That is, if you reframe how you envision your situation to begin with, that can open the door to proactive, positive, constructive actions in the situation you feel trapped in. There are several ways you can do this. It can begin with what one mid-level executive did, for example, as she looked for an alternative to just hunkering down, feeling depressed and disempowered.
這與和我一起工作的需要應(yīng)付這類情況的男性、女性中發(fā)現(xiàn)的一致。 也就是說，如果你重新設(shè)想你的情況是如何開始的，那么你就能在困境中有機會先行一步，占據(jù)積極主動的地位。有幾種方法可以做到這一點。例如，這可能會從一個中層管理人員開始，當(dāng)她在尋找一個人作替代品時，低調(diào)的，沮喪的，不重要的人則會中槍。
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She began with mindfulness meditation, focusing her attention on simply observing the negative emotions her boss’s behavior aroused in her. Just “watching” her emotions pass through her weakened her tendency to dwell in anger or pursue unproductive actions. That initiated a shift towards stepping “outside” herself — outside the narrow vantage point of her own ego - and towards seeing herself as though a character in a movie. With that expanded perspective she could view her boss as simply being the person he was; no matter what the psychological reasons were for why he was that way; or how she judged them. Emotional disengagement helped her not take his behavior personally, although it impacted her personally. In effect, she remained “indifferent” to her own emotional reactions. And yet she stayed engaged in seeking solutions to her situations.
她開始于冥想，注意力只集中在觀察老板在她身上引起的消極情緒。 僅關(guān)注于自己所受的情緒削弱了她傾向于憤怒或追求無效的行為。這開始轉(zhuǎn)向“走出去”——走到自我狹隘的角度之外去——并且看到自己就像一部電影中的角色一樣。有了這個展開的思維方式，她可以把她的老板看成是他自己的人; 不管心理原因是為什么他是這樣的; 或者她如何判斷他們。情緒脫離有助于她不用親自行動，盡管她個人影響了自己的行為。實際上，她對自己的情緒反應(yīng)仍是“無動于衷”，但是她不停地在為她的情況尋求解決辦法。
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For example, she began to ask him directly for ways she could aid his objectives - rather than avoid or circumvent him. She also decided to cede control of some areas that didn’t matter to her, but which her boss seemed to enjoy micromanaging. Her disengaged perspective strengthened her confidence in her expertise; that her boss’s agenda or his abusive management didn’t diminish it.
例如，她開始直接問他是否可以幫助他完成目標(biāo)——而不是逃避或規(guī)避他。她還決定控制一些與她無關(guān)的領(lǐng)域，但她的老板似乎喜歡微觀管理。她的脫離觀點增強了她對自己專長的信心; 她老板的日常工作事項或老板的虐待并沒有減少。
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Additionally, however - and importantly - she concluded that her future under him was probably a dead end for the foreseeable future. So she immediately updated her resume and began looking for a new position. This kept her focused on her career development objectives while navigating through her situation with as little friction as possible.
此外，無論如何——重要的是——她總結(jié)說，在可預(yù)見的將來，她在他手下工作的話，未來可能是一個死胡同。于是她立即更新了簡歷，開始尋找新的職位。這使她專注于她的職業(yè)發(fā)展目標(biāo)，同時盡可能減少與老板之間的摩擦。
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Of course, it’s important to self-examine at the outset when you find yourself in a bad situation. Look honestly, with outside help if necessary, at what you might be contributing to the problem. Ask yourself, “How much is it me or the situation?” Without doing that, you might take actions that you later regret or that prove to be unhelpful.
當(dāng)然，當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己處于不利的狀況時，首先要自我反省，這點很重要。老實說，如果有必要，在外部幫助下，你可能會處理好這個問題。問問自己，“我自己怎么樣？目前的情況怎么樣？”沒有這樣做你就行動，以后你可能會后悔或者發(fā)現(xiàn)之前的做法是無益的。
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Nevertheless the example I described above highlights some guidelines that help people deal with a range of abusive, destructive and otherwise unhealthy management. They include:
不過，接下來的例子強調(diào)了一些指導(dǎo)方針，幫助人們處理一系列侮辱性，破壞性或其他不健康的管理。他們包括：
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Create an emotional buffer zone. Observe your internal emotional responses to your situation, but recognize that you’re not obligated to act on them. Visualize a “space” between your emotions and how you choose to deal with them in your behavior. If you don’t, you’re likely to say or do something unhelpful or damaging to yourself. Stay aware of your buttons that your boss is pushing, but don’t get drawn into reacting to your boss’s emotional issues. Recognize that you always have a choice about what you do with your emotions in your own behavior.
創(chuàng)建情緒緩沖區(qū)。觀察你對情況的內(nèi)在情緒反應(yīng)，但認識到你無法對他們采取行動。這時你可視化你情緒之間的“空間”，以及你如何選擇在你的行為中處理他們。如果你不這樣做，你可能會對自己說出或做出某些沒有幫助或有傷害的事情。留意你老板的動向，但不要對老板的情緒問題作出反應(yīng)。要意識到自己總是有選擇的機會來用自己的行為處理你的情緒。
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Expand your perspective. The buffer zone around your triggered emotions enlarges your perspective about the situation: what’s feeding into it, and what may be driving your boss’s conduct. Seeing the problem in a much larger context includes looking at many factors. For example, the role of other players or other organizational issues and politics, regardless of what your opinion is about them. It includes considering that your boss’s controlling or abusive behavior may reflect some fear about her or his own security in the position.
展開你的視角。你所觸發(fā)的情緒周圍的緩沖區(qū)擴大了你對情況的看法：什么正涌進來，以及什么會驅(qū)使你老板的行為。在更大的環(huán)境中看待這個問題需要看很多因素。例如，其他玩家的角色或其他組織問題和政治，無論你對此有何看法，它包括考慮到你老板的控制或虐待行為可能會反映出他對自己或自身安全的一些恐懼。
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Act with “engaged indifference.“ That buffer zone and an enlarged perspective helps you become more proactive towards managing your situation, while being “indifferent” to your own emotional reactions that are triggered along the way. You’re less likely to be drawn towards unproductive behavior fueled by anger, resentment or self-pity. You might even decide to look for ways to help your boss feel more secure or supported, despite what you think of him or her, because doing that might diminishe your boss’s anxiety and will therefore make your life a bit easier as long as you remain there.
采取“冷漠無情”的態(tài)度。緩沖區(qū)和展開的視角幫助你更加主動地管理你的情況，同時對你自己的情緒反應(yīng)進行“無動于衷”處理。你不太可能被憤怒，憤慨或自憐所驅(qū)動的非生產(chǎn)性行為所吸引。 你甚至可能決定尋找方法幫助你的老板感到更安全或更受支持，不管你對他或她的看法是什么，因為這樣做可能會削弱你老板的焦慮，因此只要你留在那里，你的生活會變得容易一些。
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Avoid Another Abusive Situation. If you decide you must leave, then do the research when considering a new job: Look for signs of a potentially negative situation by, for example, paying attention to what you hear during interviews; asking people within the organization what it’s like to work for that company or that boss; heed any red flags raised by what you hear...and don’t contribute to history repeating itself.
避免另一種虐待情況。如果你決定離開，那么在考慮一項新工作時就進行研究：例如，通過注意你在采訪中聽到的內(nèi)容來尋找潛在的消極情緒的跡象; 向組織內(nèi)部的人詢問該公司或該老板工作的情況; 注意你聽到的任何危險信號，不要重蹈覆轍。
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